


The Kids From Yesterday

by orphan_account



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Danger Days Era, M/M, Reunion Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:13:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27352531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Frank should be mad at Gerard for breaking the walls he'd built for himself with so much difficulty. But he canneverbe mad at the man in front of him. It's an intrinsic part of him at this point.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the most Frerard-esque songs off Frank's discography. You know them.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Off stage antics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Don't you remember, you told me you loved me, baby?"

"Fucking hell, Frankie," Gerard whispered, as Frank dug through his pockets to find his room key. "Could you be any faster?"

"Let's not be so obvious, yeah?" Frank laughed, bumping shoulders with Gerard. Pulling it out, he swiped it through the slot, the door unhinging itself with a slight hiss. Frank had barely gotten in before Gerard stepped in, shutting the door and wrapping his arms around his waist.

"Hey," Gerard said, staring into those hazel-green eyes he'd always loved.

_Loved._

Gerard shuddered at the thought of the word.

"Hey," Frank said back, the corners of his lips quirking up in that slow smile Gerard had grown to love.

_Love._

Gerard pulled away, eyes cast down.

Frank gripped his hands, warm tattooed fingers tangled with his pale, inkless ones. "Everything okay?"

No.

Stuff didn't make much sense these days, but Gerard rolled along with it.

"Yeah," he lied hoarsely, pressing a small kiss to the corner of Frank's mouth.

Frank blushed, cheeks reddening slightly. "C'mere," he said, slinging his arms around Gerard's neck and covering his lips with his.

The kiss started off sweet and slow at first. Gentle pecks to each other's lips, soft biting and grinning against each other's mouths. And then it became rough and dirty. Teeth clashing. Kisses becoming wetter. Frank slipping his tongue into Gerard's mouth, sloppily kissing him.

They pulled away, lips spit-slicked. Frank's pupils were blown and Gerard felt a strange sense of pride on realizing he was the one who made Frank look like this.

"Need you," Frank groaned, tugging at Gerard's hand.

Gerard nodded, and watched as Frank sank down onto the bed, waiting for him. He climbed the bed and straddled Frank, loving the way they fit perfectly together.

_Loving._

He swallowed and leaned down to press a kiss to Frank's scorpion tattoo, remembering Frank had gotten it so he wouldn't be able to get a normal job. God, Frank was a rebellious person. He'd been himself, done what he wanted and gotten to where he was today. Gerard was so gone for him.

Frank bucked his hips up the instant Gerard's lips touched his neck, letting out a moan that shot blood straight to Gerard's cock. He tangled his hands in Gerard's hair as they ground against each other, breathy moans escaping Gerard's throat as well.

"Need you," Frank whined, almost pushing Gerard off himself in his desire to get off, "now."

Gerard nodded and slipped down a bit, unbuckling Frank's belt. Frank hastily pulled away his shirt. Gerard's breath hitched as he saw the tattoos on Frank's skin.

Frank captured memories on his skin, Gerard remembered him saying.

Frank was a work of art, even if he had no tattoos. With his tattoos, he had attained a level of perfection Gerard had seen in no one ever, and never would again.

"You're perfect," the words slipped out, before he even knew what he was saying.

Frank looked into his eyes, the earnestness in them making Gerard want to kiss the fuck out of him.

"Look who's talking," he teased.

Gerard shook his head and continued looking at the tattoos he'd seen multiple times before. A spider web surrounding a bomb, the word "hope" enclosed in flames.

And those swallows.

Frank had never told him he'd be getting a tattoo for him. For Gerard.

Gerard nearly started crying the first time he'd seen those swallows on Frank's hips. One bird with a blackened eye, the other with a cross on its eye. It was him and Frank. No one had to say anything. He'd figured it out himself all those years ago.

"Frankie...." Was all he'd said the first time.

"Do you like them?" Frank asked hesitantly, searching Gerard's eyes for an answer.

"Oh, Frankie," Gerard had said, pushing himself down so he could press his lips to each bird, caressing the inked skin softly. "They're perfect. So perfect, Frankie, I-" He engulfed Frank's lips, overcome with emotions.

"Because I love you. So, so much."

Gerard said nothing, simply kissing Frank harder.

 _I love you._ Frank had confessed it to him years ago, and here he was, scared of saying it back even though he knew he did. He was pathetic.

Shaking his head and trying to forget anything that would out him in a bad mood, he made light work of Frank's jeans and boxers, tugging away the belt and pulling them down so they pooled around his ankles. Frank lifted his legs to kick them off and Gerard hovered over him again.

Frank was a sight. His hair was messy in the best way possible, his eyes were still consumed by lust, he was panting, hands gripping the sheets, his cock standing straight up, ready to be touched by Gerard.

Gerard leaned down and took the head of Frank's cock in his mouth, slowly letting his hot breath make Frank lose his mind to lust. Frank almost immediately jerked fully into Gerard's mouth, held back by his last ounce of self-restraint. Gerard placed his hands on Frank's hips, slowly licking the underside of Frank's cock with his tongue. Frank moaned, a high pitched sound that reminded Gerard of how hard he was.

He went down fully, taking Frank's entire length in, just the way he liked. Frank ran a shaky hand through his red hair, tugging gently on it. Gerard pulled off, pressed kisses to his length before taking him in again. Frank threw his head back against the soft pillows, lost in Gerard's touch. Gerard removed a hand from his hip and moved it to Frank's hole, slowly sliding a finger in. Frank hissed in pain but said nothing, and soon the burn was replaced by the most pleasurable feeling he'd had.

Gerard started going up and down faster and faster, and Frank knew he was going to cum soon.

"Gee, I-I'm-" He stuttered, words choking as Gerard simply nodded, tapping his thigh to let him fuck Gerard's mouth. Frank took the hint and thrust up to his hilt, eyes rolling back in pleasure. Gerard took him well, his hand not stopping. Frank came too soon for his pleasure. Gerard took all of him in, not letting a single drop spill. Wiping his mouth with his hand, he let out a small grunt as Frank pulled him up, kissing every part of his face he could reach.

"Frankie, stop," he said lightly, laughing as Frank pulled away to breathe. Frank pressed a final kiss to his nose as he ran his hands up and down Gerard's skin exposed by his tank top.

"You're pretty," he said, grinning at nothing in particular.

Gerard felt his heart lurch as he realized for the hundredth time, that he never felt this happy around anyone else. "Shut up," he said lightly, pulling off his tank top. Frank got up and flipped them, so that he was on top. He leaned down to press kisses to his chest, stopping with his lips at the dip of Gerard's collarbone.

"Gee," he said softly, resting a hand on his shoulder. "You're perfect the way you are, okay? Don't let anyone make you think otherwise."

Gerard guiltily looked at the ceiling. "Thank you, Frankie."

Frank kissed his way down Gerard's chest, hands resting on his bony hips.

"You don't need to-love you," he murmured softly before unbuckling Gerard's belt.

Gerard drew in a sharp breath, and pretended he didn't hear what Frank had said. It was stupid of him, but he couldn't have it any other way. He couldn't risk this thought consuming his mind for the rest of his life.

He had always been scared around Frank. Scared that admitting it might finalize something neither of them could handle.

Frank brushed his hand against Gerard's crotch and Gerard bucked up into his touch.

"Kept it there," Frank said, pointing to the bedside drawer. Gerard nodded. Years of experience with Frank made him understand. He rolled over and pulled out a condom and a bottle of lube.

And then he realized.

Frank knew he had heard him, knew he said nothing back because he was a coward and he couldn't say it back.

What a twisted fuck you are, he told himself. He couldn't meet Frank's eyes.

"Gee, look at me," Frank said, taking the things out of Gerard's hand and placing a palm on his cheek. "Enjoy yourself."

And Gerard swore the universe had done everything possible to fuck up his fate, leading them to go about their relationship in secrecy. Frank had fucking read his mind. He closed his eyes as Frank placed butterfly kisses all over his face, trying to make him forget anything at all. It worked.

Gerard shimmied out of his pants, trying to focus on the feeling of their naked bodies pressing against each other. It felt heavenly. Nothing came close to this.

"I want you to fuck me," Frank whispered, taking Gerard's hands in his own. Gerard nodded and slicked his fingers, and Frank's hole.

But this time, it was going to be different.

Because this time, Gerard knew something he'd been too weak to confront earlier.

He loved Frank.

Those three words rested on the tip of his tongue, but he was too afraid to speak them out. But tonight, Gerard was going to make love to Frank knowing he loved the man on top of him. So much. Gerard shuddered involuntarily.

He was about to roll on the condom but Frank stopped him.

"Frank, wh-"

"I know we're both clean. I want to feel you. Fully. Please." Gerard swallowed and nodded, never wanting to deny anything to Frank. Also, they both were indeed clean. It wouldn't hurt them. He set it aside.

"Ready?" He said softly, hands on Frank's hips. Frank nodded and lowered himself down, wincing at the slight burn. A few moments later, he started moving up and down slowly, relishing the drag of Gerard in him.

"You're doing so good," Gerard praised, hands fumbling to find Frank's and grip them tightly. After a few minutes, Gerard angled himself, hitting Frank's prostate dead on, making him arch his back and moan loudly. The safety of Frank's hotel room guaranteed no one would hear them.

"Come on, baby, cum for me," he growled, making Frank whine and remove his hand from Gerard's, reaching for his own cock and jerking himself off in tandem with Gerard's thrusts.

"That's it, baby, keep going," Gerard breathed out, feeling himself reaching his own peak.

They came together. Gerard held Frank in place as his orgasm hit him, filling Frank, while Frank spurted hot cum onto his and Gerard's chests and they lay like that for a while, soaking in the afterglow for a while. Eventually, Gerard got up. Frank grabbed his hand in an instant. "Where are you going?"

"Just-towels. To clean us up." Frank nodded and let go reluctantly.

"I'll be back," Gerard smiled.

Frank snorted in his head. Yeah. That's what Gerard always said. Whenever he'd go off, saying he couldn't do "this", by which he meant them, Frank would wait. Gerard would come back, no doubt. But every time he came back, he'd steal a piece of Frank's heart.

And the thing was Frank couldn't bring himself to hate Gerard. He just didn't have it in him. Beyond just love, he admired the man he called his best friend. He was an inspiration; a leader to the masses. And Frank was lucky to have been by his side since the very beginning. He barely noticed as Gerard slid in next to him, cleaning him up with a damp towel.

"Frankie?" Gerard said, throwing his towel aside once he was done.

There. That stupid fucking nickname which made his heart flutter. Frank moved so there would be some more distance between him and Gerard.

"Frank, what's the matter?" Gerard said softly, turning on his side and tracing the tattoos on Frank's arms.

Frank was about to open his mouth when he saw Gerard's hand. His ring still sat on his finger. Gerard looked at Frank's widened eyes and realized with a jolt that he'd well and truly cheated on his wife. Normally they'd slip off their rings before doing anything together, but this time, in his haze of wanting to be with Frank, Gerard had forgotten to slip it off. He looked at Frank's bedside table. A small silver ring lay next to the lamp. God, how careless had Gerard been?

"I wish...." Frank began but trailed off, unable to say it out loud. How could he say it to Gerard's face, when the man was right next to him?

"What do you wish for?" Gerard pressed a kiss to his collarbone. "Tell me."

Frank was silent for a minute. "I wish I could hate you, you know?" Gerard pulled away and looked at his lover. Frank wasn't angry; rather it was the opposite. His hazel green eyes gleamed like they did whenever he was happy.

"What do you mean?" Gerard asked, gulping.

Frank took Gerard's hand; the hand which showed he was never supposed to be Frank's. "I'll never be what you wanted, I'll never be... her, but I'll always be here. I wish I had the courage to say no. But you... you draw me like a moth to flame. You'll be the death of me, Gee," Frank sighed and kissed the hollow of Gerard's throat.

"Frank, don't- don't say that," Gerard's voice cracked. He pressed his lips together to prevent those tears from spilling, tears he knew were brought about by his own stupidity.

"Hey," Frank cooed, pulling Gerard towards himself so the older man's head rested on his chest. He stroked his hand through Gerard's hair. "I love you, okay? You don't need to be sorry for this. I'm lucky to have you with me."

The ease with which Frank admitted that blew Gerard away. It was almost like...

"Y- you're married, Frankie. You can't just say that like _we're-_ " Frank pressed a finger to his lips.

"I know. I know. But I can't deny what my heart feels. If I love you, then I do. It's as simple as that."

"But Ja-"

"Never said I loved her any less. I just love another person _too,_ okay?" Gerard knew Frank was a bit irritated. He knew he should've accepted Frank's love for him with no qualms. All that bothered him was how he'd never really said it back, and that was what made him unworthy of Frank's love.

They stayed in silence for a while, Frank lightly scratching Gerard's head, making him hum in pleasure. Gerard wondered how it would have been if he hadn't had that fling in the summer of 2007. How would everything be today? Then he shook his head. He had a family today, and he loved everything he had. It wouldn't do him any good to think about how different the future could have been if his past was different. Things like that never gave you happiness. Instead, he chose to live in the moment and keep the happiness running.

"Frankie?" he said, tilting his head up to his lover whose eyes were closed.

"Yeah, Gee?"

"I. I love you. Too. Don't ever think otherwise. And don't-" he broke down with the weight of his admission, "please, don't- b-bring this up again. Please. I can't-"

Frank sighed. "I love you too, baby. It's okay." He wiped away Gerard's tears, despairing at how broken Gerard was.

"I should've- maybe, I could have said it earlier. I'm- I'm so fucking sorry," he cried.

"I never doubted what you felt towards me, Gee. I know you."

"I'm such a coward."

"Not to me." He kissed Gerard's nose.

Gerard spoke up after a while. "Frank, why-why me?"

Frank huffed. "I don't know, fucker. It just happened. It doesn't help that you look so good and sing so well and draw so beautifully and-agh," he cut himself off, pressing his lips to Gerard's, tangling their limbs once more.

They pulled away a while later, hearts happy.

Later, as they headed down for dinner, they knew Ray and Mikey knew about what they had done, as they gave each other knowing looks when Frank and Gerard tried to tame their hair with their hands.

Frank and Gerard were thankful that no one pressed them to confess anything. They gave each other shy looks, like two teenagers in love, oblivious to the world.

Gerard insisted on walking Frank back to his room. "Goodnight," he said softly, making sure no one was seeing them before pressing a kiss to Frank's cheek, and then turning and heading down the hallway to the room where he was bunking with Mikey.

Frank kicked back, watching a stupid horror movie on the television with Ray, giggling as the other man got scared every now and then.

In the other room, Gerard lay with his head in Mikey's lap, trying his hardest not to let tears spill. Mikey ran his hand through Gerard's hair, knowing this was bound to happen.

"Mikes, I-how do I choose between them?" He said, voice cracking. "You know I love her, but Frank-I love him too." Mikey froze for a second, not believing Gerard had actually confessed his love for Frank. He resumed stroking his hair as Gerard shuddered, letting a single tear slip out of his eye.

"You've known Frank for longer, haven't you?" He said softly, closing his eyes.

Gerard let out a pained gasp and sat up. "Are you saying I should leave her then?"

"No, not that. But...he's just been there for you for so long, right? Whatever happens, don't forget him, okay?"

"I can never, ever forget him," Gerard said, resting in Mikey's lap again.

Mikey nodded, pressing a kiss to his brother's forehead. "I believe in you, Gerard. Do you what you think is right. Things will look your way one day."

**_two years later_ **

"When we were young we used to say, that you only hear the music when your heart begins to break!" Frank and Gerard shouted into their mics, swaying along with the crowd.

This was going to be their last show. Ever.

Gerard had said he couldn't cope with touring for much longer, not at the rate he kept drinking and taking drugs. All of them were exhausted. They knew it was going to have to end some time soon.

Frank took it upon himself to make this the most memorable show the four of them would ever have.

He grinned at Gerard as they sang, not forgetting how important this song was to the two of them. He let his head drop against Gerard's shoulder as he played, heart bursting with excitement as Gerard wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"Thank you, New Jersey!" Gerard yelled into his mic at the end, waving at the fans and blowing them all a kiss.

And as Frank and Gerard looked at each other for the last time ever on stage, they felt something.

This wasn't the end for them. Not till the end of time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A decade after the band broke up, the boys are back on the road. Frank helps Gerard question his life over a bowl of ramen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ditched the past tense for the present and it changes a lot of things, so I learned.

"Ow," Gerard mutters as he knocks his head into the wall. His brain is overactive and his blankets aren't warm enough. Or the heater isn't working properly. Whatever the matter, he wants some sleep. He sighs and turns to his side. Maybe if he curls up on himself he can fall asleep soon. Nothing comes out of it. He's left staring at the pale white ceiling of the bunk.

Gerard thinks he hears a sniffle from below him. He strains his ears in the silence, wondering whether he's dreaming or there really is a sound from down below. Within a minute, there's a sniffle accompanied by a sneeze.

Gerard curses. Never count on Frank's immune system to keep him well for even the first leg of the tour. It seemed to be shitty even after all these years.

"Frank?" He calls out softly. Ray and Mikey are still sleeping in the opposite bunks, and he doesn't want to wake them up. "Frank?" He tries again.

"Gee, 'm cold," Frank groans. Gerard hears covers rustling, which means Frank is trying to burrow himself deeper into them - he's cold too. It has to be the damn heater. He looks down at his watch in the dim light coming from above. It's 4:31 in the morning. Might as well spend some time in the kitchen if he can't sleep just yet.

"Do you want something? Coffee? Pop Tarts?"

"Nah. You."

The unexpected lurch that Gerard's heart gives embarrasses him. He's almost worse than a teenager in love when it comes to Frank, even after all these years. Frank seems to have mistaken his silence for hesitation.

"I promise I don't have a cold. Please?" Gerard is relieved. He makes his way down the bunk.

"Oh, Frank," he sighs, after pulling open the curtains and taking in the sight of the younger man who is clad in not one but three sweatshirts. And jeans. Frank kicks off his blankets fully and jumps out, looking curiously at Gerard.

"Why were you up?" He asks, eyebrow arching in _that_ way.

"I... couldn't sleep. I was thinking. About stuff."

Frank nods. "Well then. I'm making us some ramen, and you're going to tell me every single thing that's running through that pretty brain of yours."

Before Gerard can say anything, Frank kicks on his shoes, gently brushing past Gerard and into the kitchen. Gerard follows, shivering. They've forgotten to close one of the windows in the kitchen. What if someone breaks into the bus?

He closes the window and turns around when he hears Frank groan. "Aw man, there's just one more packet left? Who's been eating the ramen? It's mine!"

"Mikey, probably," Gerard frowns. "You know he eats whatever when he's in the mood."

Frank shrugs. "One bowl to share, then."

As Frank stirs the noodles, Gerard's fingers itch for a pencil and some paper. He could probably draw Frank, who's hunched over at the counter. Him and the way his neck tattoos manage to peek out of his multiple sweatshirts. And the hand tattoos which-

" _Bon appetite_ ," Frank says in a terribly posh French accent, setting down the steaming bowl on the table and two forks along with it. Gerard picks one up and watches as Frank twirls his fork into the noodles, picking it up and taking a bite.

"Spill," he mumbles through his filled mouth. Gerard can't help but cringe and Frank laughs at his reaction.

Gerard takes in a deep breath and hesitates. What better way to free his mind than talk to Frank?

"Right," he begins, unconsciously spinning the fork in his hand. "I've been feeling.... very.... reflective, lately."

"Reflective. What, like a lamp?"

Gerard chuckles. Frank still had it in him to lighten the mood whenever possible. "No. I've been thinking a lot about the past, recently."

"And what exactly about the past?"

Gerard drums his fingers on the table. "Us."

Frank almost chokes on his bite. "What the heck do you mean, _us_?"

Gerard twirls his fork through the bowl. "Remember the day they asked us how it felt when I kissed you? Right after the show?" Frank nods, remembering the show he's talking about.

 _"Magic. Fireworks," Gerard had said._ He wonders where this is going.

"That was the night I realized you were the one I wanted to grow old with."

Frank braces himself for the wave of sadness that he expected to wash over him with those words; drown him in the never ending sorrow that always seems to exist in his head because he'd spent a great deal of his life pondering what he'd do if Gerard ever said something like this.

It doesn't come.

He looks at Gerard, who's looking at him like he never said anything that could be considered close to earth shattering. He looks like he's just said they're currently in Newark with no network facility. Which they are.

Of course that doesn't mean Gerard's not nervous, though.

Frank is curious. He's never gotten a proper answer and he doubts he ever will, but trying leads to no harm, right?

"What... made you think otherwise?" He finally says, his grip on the fork increasing marginally.

Gerard puts his fork back in the bowl. "I was scared," he finally admits.

Frank internally breathes a sigh of relief.

Nothing he didn't know.

"And I've been wondering. Why I was like that."

Frank snorts, his eyes crinkling with laughter. "That's definitely something I want to know. Why were you like that?"

Gerard pretends to be angry. Frank has none of it. He reaches across the table and gently pokes at Gerard's nose.

They fall into silence for a while.

Gerard's heart is beating faster than a fucking Ferrari racing on the streets. He's just bared a part of who he was and has been; something he's been keeping a secret for all these years, from the man he's loved all these years, and Frank... just _accepted_ it?

He doesn't know whether he should be relieved or disappointed.

A cough brings him out of his thoughts.

"Is that all?" Frank says, not meeting his eyes.

And he knows, just _knows,_ that this has to mean something to the other man too. Why hasn't he said anything about it?

Gerard shakes his head. There's still a lot more he wants to say, but it all rests at the tip of his tongue. He's scared once he lets it out, he won't be able to stop. Scared that they'll break the friendship they so carefully rebuilt over the past few years. But no, he knows this feeling. It is disappointment, after all.

"You're saying...nothing?" He asks, knowing very well he seems like a fool grasping at the last straw, but he can't help it. Not after he's out with his biggest secret, one that could make or break them.

"What do you want me to say, Gerard?" Frank asks evenly after a minute.

Gerard doesn't know what he wants Frank to say.

Or, what he wants from Frank. He sits in silence and lets Frank ponder over whatever he has to say.

They stay like that for quite some time, not looking at each other. Suddenly, Frank exhales softly. He looks at Gerard like he's realized what the other man has said.

"You still like me? After all these years?"

Had it not been obvious?

Then again, Gerard had only himself to blame. He'd been the one who'd proposed they rekindle merely their friendship rather than not have one. Frank had done as he was told, and now Gerard was suffering from its consequences.

Gerard's silence confirmed the answer to Frank's question.

"You're an idiot," he sighs, with no venom. Gerard looks up at him. He remembers the time when Frank had said he wished he could hate him, but never had the heart to do so.

Did he-

"Do you hate me?" Gerard says, searching Frank's eyes for an answer.

Frank rolls his eyes. "Of course not, Gee. I could never do that. You know that very well, don't you? But-" he pauses, licking his lips, "you do know what you're going to ask of me, right?"

Gerard nods slowly. Of course he knows what he's asking of Frank. And he knows what his answer will be. Even if it disappoints him, he wants to hear it.

"I can't. I can't give it to you, Gerard."/p>

There. That sharp sting Gerard had been waiting for, the thing which had kept him up all night for months on an end. Now starting to be quelled by just three sentences.

"Don't you love me anymore?" He knows just how pathetically desperate he sounds, but he wants to have Frank. In some way or the other.

Frank rests one hand atop Gerard's, gently rubbing his knuckles with his thumb. If Gerard closes his eyes and concentrates hard enough, he can pretend he's back in the studio with Frank, freaking out about whether the track listing's right or not, and Frank's mumbling sweet nothings into his ear to calm him down. That it's going to work out just fine, and that Frank's going to be proud of Gerard no matter what.

"I do love you, Gerard," Frank speaks over his thoughts, "but I can't love you like that. Not anymore." Gerard watches as Frank slowly trails a finger over his sweatshirt. He runs his finger across three badges pinned to his front. One has a lily, the second has a pair of cherries and the third has a small road on it.

And Gerard knows that Frank feels exactly like Gerard did, all those years ago. He knows what Frank means to show him.

He can understand Frank's happiness of having a family, of having children, of being a father.

And Gerard may have been selfish, but he was never going to hurt Frank like that.

"Is that what's been bothering you?" Frank says, his hand still on Gerard's. 

Gerard nods. He can't speak but he trusts Frank can understand him.

Frank was always too kind to him. Too good for him. Too gentle with him. Maybe he never deserved Frank's friendship.

So he tells Frank just that.

What he does not expect to see is Frank blushing. His eyes widen as Frank removes his hand from Gerard's and swats at it, cheeks tinging a light pink.

"Shut up," Frank mumbles, trying not to laugh. Gerard can tell he's holding back a loud snort, and the only thing making him hold it back is their bandmates sleeping in the next room.

Frank eventually calms down. He looks at Gerard and sighs. Leaning over, he tucks a strand of Gerard's brown hair behind his ear.

"You know, if you'd told me this ten years ago, I would've dropped everything for you. One word and I'd be yours. I'm... I can't do that anymore, Gee."

Gerard understands. The world doesn't revolve around him; he learned his lesson a long time ago. And now he'll do his best to show Frank he's understood his mistake.

"Are we... still friends?" He asks softly, a hint of fear coursing through his voice.

Frank frowns. "Of course we are, Gee. Nothing's ever changing that."

Gerard could cry with relief.

Frank looks down at the bowl between them and sighs. "It's cold," he says, before pushing it aside. "Is there anything else?"

Gerard hesitates, curls his fingers into a fist and slowly stretches out his hand on the table in front of Frank. Frank stares at it for a minute, not understanding what he's looking at, and then his eyes widen.

"Gerard." Mouth agape, he looks up at the older man who can't bear to meet his eyes.

Frank looks down at his friend's ring finger, which is devoid of a ring. The only evidence of it ever bearing a ring is seen in the tan line it has.

"When did- _what_?" Frank holds Gerard's hands in his own, looking concernedly at his friend.

"Last year," Gerard begins, not trusting his voice to break down in the middle. "We knew it had to end. It- it wasn't working anymore."

Frank squeezes his hand, not knowing what to say. He'd be lying if he said he'd never seen this coming, but the last thing he wants is his friend to be more upset than he already is.

He has a question, though. A question which came to his mind the night they fought on the stage all those years ago, but he'd never had a chance to ask. Till now.

"Do you regret anything?"

Gerard sniffles. "No. I found love, and I'm glad it worked out this long. I have a daughter and I wouldn't trade her for the world. But if I did have a chance to go back and change everything I did, if I could... get a chance to be with you- then yes. I'd do it."

Frank squeezes his eyes shut. As much as he hates to admit it, he had been ready to drop everything and be with Gerard.

But that had been in the past. It wasn't like that now. Times changed. They'd both grown up, both had lives of their own; outside the band, and Frank knew he couldn't hold onto this shard of hope anymore. He had to let it go one day, or it'd hurt him. So he did. Song by song, he let himself escape the fantasy of a life with Gerard. It had worked.

Only, it seemed, Gerard couldn't quite let go of it. Not even after all these years.

"Mikey...?" He says.

Gerard nods. "And Kristin. Our families. That's all. I wanted to tell you too, in person. I've done it now."

Frank takes in a deep breath. "Right." He says, standing up. "Right. I think I'm going to go sleep now, Gee. We'll continue this tomorrow morning?" 

Gerard reluctantly stands up. Frank makes to walk out of the kitchen, but Gerard catches his wrist and spins him around gently. Frank turns around and stumbles, bracing his hands on Gerard's shoulders.

They admire each other for a while.

Gerard looks at every inch of Frank's face. His eyes are bright as ever, his nose is still the same, and the crinkles near his eyes have only grown deeper. Gerard is happy if Frank is happy. 

Frank looks at the older man. His hair is longer, going past his shoulders a bit, a soft brown streaked with silver. He wonders how it would be to run his hand through it. It looks so inviting. But he can't do this. He left this part of himself behind, didn't he?

Gerard raises his other hand to cup Frank's cheek gently, and Frank knows in that very moment that he's gone. He's beyond gone. Even before he'd reconnected back with Gerard in Leeds, he knew his heart had been split into two parts.

And one had still belonged to Gerard after all these years.

"Can I kiss you?" Gerard asks softly, voice devoid of all cockiness that was present all those years ago.

Frank knows he shouldn't. He knows it's wrong, neither of them should be doing this.

Frank should be mad at Gerard for breaking the walls he'd built for himself with so much difficulty.

But he can _never_ be mad at the man in front of him. It's an intrinsic part of him at this point.

"We shouldn't..." he whispers, knowing if Gerard pushes him he can't refuse.

"Is that what you want?"

And Frank knows that's not what he wants. Losing his will to stay strong, he cups Gerard's face in his hands, pressing his lips to the older man's. Gerard wraps his arms around his neck, and they kiss slowly. Frank can feel the slide of Gerard's lips on his own and Gerard can feel Frank's breathy whimpers punctuate the air. Frank slides a hand up to grip at Gerard's hair, and marvels at how soft it is. Gerard takes a breather and moves his lips down to Frank's neck, nipping gently at the scorpion tattoo he loved to kiss.

Frank moans softly, voice just like Gerard remembers.

Removing his hands from behind his neck, he slides them down to Frank's waist, holding him in place as he peppers his lips with small kisses that leave Frank panting; wanting more.

Eventually, Gerard pulls away, pressing a kiss to Frank's forehead. Frank sighs and rests his head on Gerard's chest. They stay like that for a while.

Their kisses speak of unsaid promises. Promises that they still need each other after all these years, and that they're going to be there for each other, regardless of whatever happened in the past. They don't need to say it out loud - they can feel it in their hearts.

It feels like a lifetime passes before Frank lifts his head up, still in Gerard's embrace.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything, Frankie," Gerard promises, lifting a hand to card through Frank's hair. He loves the way it's grown out.

"When I'm with you," Frank begins slowly, "I feel full." Gerard says nothing, continues stroking the other's hair. "Before I met you, I was happy. After you, there was a part of me just drawn to you. When you weren't with me anymore, I had this inexplicable hollowness that rose in me. You took a part of my heart I never thought anyone could possibly take. But you did. And now that we're here again, I feel fully happy."

Gerard lets those words ring through his mind. He's going to keep them there forever.

"I'm glad I can make you happy, Frankie." Frank nods. They cling to each other for a while, before Frank slowly removes himself from Gerard's hold.

The air between them, for once, isn't charged with tension.

It's calm and peaceful.

"So, what are we now?" Gerard breaks the silence.

Frank's lips quirk up into a smile. Gerard knows that smile. It's for when he's about to say something really stupid. "Hmm... best friends that love each other and kiss at times?"

Gerard lets out a loud laugh. He can't care less if it wakes up the others. His Frank is still the same. Frank grins, leans forward and presses a chaste kiss to his lips to prove his point.

"Right," he nods. "I really have to sleep now. We'll... talk in the morning again? I mean, it's morning, but- you know what I mean."

Gerard nods. He does.

And his mind is finally at rest.

He watches as Frank slowly shuffles out of the kitchen and to the bunks, and he can't stop the words that bubble out of his lips.

"I love you," he calls out softly.

He can never love Frank just like a friend. He never has. He learned his lesson too late. He still loves the man with all his heart and will never do anything to push him.

But they've agreed to speak about it later, and he's glad to be back with his best friend; they now have something they'd once thought would never even be possible.

Later that night, as they play their hearts out, Gerard looks at Frank for a brief moment. They aren't as close to each other on the stage anymore, but they both know it's not because of anything between them. It's just the way they are now. And as Frank turns and grins at the sight of Gerard looking at him, Gerard realizes it.

They still were the kids from yesterday, and the distance they'd had between them for all these years had only brought them closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [redacting my social media because I no longer want to be associated with this piece of work, but thank you to everyone who read it and liked it!]

**Author's Note:**

> Do I ship Frerard? Honestly, I don't know anymore. But I do believe they had something between them in the past, which is why this idea came to my mind.


End file.
